What if the things you dislike most about yourself aren’t signs of failure—but invitations to heal? In this episode, I sit down with Haley Hinkle, associate marriage and family therapist and IFS-informed practitioner, to explore a compassionate and non-pathologizing way to understand the parts of us that act out, shut down, or sabotage.

We dive into the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model—a powerful therapeutic approach that helps us relate to our inner world with curiosity, clarity, and compassion. Whether you’re dealing with betrayal trauma, relational conflict, anxiety, or self-sabotage, this episode will help you reframe your struggles and discover new ways to care for all the parts of you—especially the ones that feel hardest to love.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
⏳ [02:55] – What is Internal Family Systems (IFS) and why it’s not just “therapy talk”
⏳ [08:15] – How parts of us get stuck in protective roles and where they come from
⏳ [09:15] – The difference between “protectors” and “exiles” (and how they interact)
⏳ [13:40] – How IFS helps us develop self-compassion and stop trying to “fix” ourselves
⏳ [16:25] – The power of self-leadership: calmness, curiosity, compassion, and more
⏳ [30:00] – How childhood wounds shape our internal system—and how to heal
⏳ [34:30] – Practical tools to start using IFS in your daily life

If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who might need it. And don’t forget to leave a review—we’d love to hear how this podcast is supporting your healing journey!

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About Geoff Steurer:
I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 20 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 10 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children.

About Jody Steurer:
Jody has been a strong voice supporting women as co-host of the podcast “Speak Up Sister”. She completed a bachelor's degree in psychology from Brigham Young University and is an ACA certified coach. She runs a small business and has years of experience in corporate training and organization. Jody’s most challenging work has been raising her four children (two of which are on the autism spectrum). She loves to do landscape design, paint in watercolor, spend time outdoors, and snow ski.

About Haley Hinkle:
Haley Hinkle is an associate licensed marriage and family therapist based in Eastern Washington. As a wife, mother, and advocate for authenticity in intimate relationships, she loves people and their stories. Her clinical work mirrors this as she often uses Internal Family Systems (IFS) as a framework to understand our multifaceted human experience. She runs a hybrid in-person/online private practice that specializes in couples counseling, anxiety disorders, and recovery from childhood trauma. She holds a bachelor’s degree in Latin American Studies and a master’s degree in marriage and family therapy, both from Brigham Young University.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/haley-hinkle-kennewick-wa/975026

The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.

Episode 290

The Pain They Don’t See: William King Hollis on Turning Wounds Into Wisdom | Ep. 27