Ep. 291: Difficult Coaching Conversations, feat. Ben Van Doren
Jul 1, 2024
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Ben Van Doren, a Lucas Lepri black belt and head instructor at Deep Blue Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, discusses navigating difficult coaching conversations in the Jiu Jitsu community. Topics include professionalism in gym environments, effective delivery mechanisms for tough conversations, and cultivating the skill of handling challenging dialogues with grace.
Open conversations are vital for gym culture and values.
Understanding relationship dynamics aids in communication and boundaries.
Praise publicly, criticize privately for a disciplined gym environment.
Deep dives
Importance of Tough Conversations in Building Gym Culture
Tough conversations play a crucial role in shaping and maintaining a positive gym culture. Discussing issues openly helps address challenges, protect the gym's values, and foster a supportive environment. A gym's success hinges on its ability to handle difficult conversations effectively, ensuring a respectful and inclusive space for all members.
Navigating Relationships and Setting Boundaries
Understanding the dynamics of different relationships within the gym setting is essential for managing tough conversations. Recognizing the shift from natural to 'unnatural' relationships and defining boundaries aids in effective communication. By approaching conversations with a strategic framework and acknowledging the need for defined red lines, coaches can navigate complex interactions and cultivate a healthy gym culture.
Praise in Public, Criticize in Private, and Establishing Red Lines
The principle of praising in public and criticizing in private guides effective communication strategies in gym environments. Addressing minor issues privately and immediate safety concerns publicly helps maintain discipline and respect. By establishing clear red lines and communicating them upfront, coaches set expectations and uphold standards, ensuring a harmonious and supportive atmosphere for all.
Creating a Positive Gym Culture through Individual Behavior
Individual behaviors within a gym, whether as a coach, student, or owner, significantly influence its culture. Neglecting to address issues or contribute positively can lead to a decline in the gym's culture. Observing and adapting to the established environment is crucial for newcomers, and failure to do so signals a lack of effort in understanding and integrating with the culture.
Navigating Difficult Conversations to Preserve Gym Culture
Identifying when a relationship, be it with a student, coach, or business partner, becomes irreconcilable is challenging yet essential in maintaining a gym's culture. Planning conversations, gathering facts, and maintaining a focused dialogue play key roles in addressing performance or attitude issues. Establishing clear boundaries, addressing concerns promptly, and determining improvement efforts guide decisions on ending relationships for the overall well-being of the gym's community.
This week we're joined by Ben Van Doren! Ben is a Lucas Lepri black belt and the head instructor at Deep Blue Brazilian Jiu Jitsu in Caledonia, Michigan. In this episode, Ben draws on his experience as a manager and BJJ gym owner to discuss difficult coaching conversations. This conversation is a great playbook for Jiu-Jisu leaders of all sorts, and how they can productively navigate the difficult conversations that arise on the job with both your students and coaches.
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