When you're dealing with whining, hitting, defiance, back talk…well, of course you want it to stop. But what if behavior change isn’t actually the place to start? Not for long-term behavior change, at least.

In this episode, I explore why behavior change does matter, but why it’s not the first goal, especially for kids with vulnerable nervous systems.

HEADS UP! I’m not necessarily asking YOU- the one facing these out of control behaviors- to change your goal of behavior change. But…what if the people who are helping you could stay focused on that truth?!

In this episode, you’ll learn:

Why all behavior makes sense—even the baffling kind
What happens when we shift from changing behavior to addressing the nervous system
How holding two truths at once helps you feel more regulated, even in hard moments

Resources mentioned in this podcast:

Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/BehaviorChange

We have a few spots remaining in the professional, retreat style workshop Presence in Practice in Durango, CO March 5-7, 2026. Head to RobynGobbel.com/Durango for details and registration

Check out RobynGobbel.com/Trainings for the professional trainings scheduled around the US in 2026.

:::

Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

127: Designing Life on Your Own Terms – Maurice Visits Erin Coupe