Bedtime routines can significantly impact emotional connections in a marriage. A guest shares her transformative journey from feeling abandoned to fostering intimacy by inviting her husband to join her at bedtime. The discussion highlights the importance of self-care, communication, and personal growth in nurturing a relationship. Listeners learn practical insights to rebuild trust and rekindle romance, showcasing how small changes can lead to a happier, more connected partnership.
Mismatched bedtime rituals can lead to feelings of isolation, but implementing new intimacy skills can transform communication and connection in marriage.
Prioritizing self-care and allowing partners to lead can enhance marital joy, fostering trust and mutual appreciation in the relationship.
Deep dives
Understanding the Disconnect
Having mismatched bedtime routines can create feelings of loneliness and disconnect in a marriage. Lolita experienced this firsthand, feeling abandoned when her husband would fall asleep on the sofa while she lay alone in bed. This routine diminished their intimacy and left her questioning whether she had to accept this emotional distance as part of their relationship. Realizing that she wanted more from their marriage, she began to explore ways to create a more connected and joyful partnership.
The Role of Reflection and Self-Care
Lolita discovered that her attempts to control and 'help' her husband by managing their lives often backfired, creating tension instead of fostering intimacy. Through self-reflection, she learned that her actions, which she believed were acts of love, were perceived by her husband as attempts at control. Emphasizing self-care became critical for her; she identified simple, manageable practices that elevated her well-being without placing undue pressure on their relationship. By prioritizing her happiness, she initiated a shift that positively impacted their dynamic.
Empowering Her Husband
As Lolita embraced new intimacy skills, she learned the importance of making space for her husband to take the lead and be the hero in their relationship. Instead of offering unsolicited advice or expressing frustration, she shifted her approach to show trust in his decisions and capabilities. This change not only enhanced her husband's confidence but also improved their overall connection. Their relationship blossomed into a partnership where joy and laughter were prevalent, replacing the previous struggles of communication.
Recognizing Growth and Joy
Lolita and her husband reached a turning point as they celebrated 36 years of marriage, feeling happier and more connected than ever. Their relationship was characterized by open communication, shared responsibilities, and an atmosphere of gratitude and appreciation. Moments of intimacy were enriched, both physically and emotionally, contributing to a peaceful and loving home environment. With continued commitment to the practices that brought about this transformation, Lolita felt her husband's unwavering love and support, fulfilling the dreams they had for their life together.
If your husband doesn’t turn in when you do and your schedules feel off, it gets lonely and you don’t get as much time together. It’s a big disconnect that’s not very intimate. But you can entice him to make bedtime “together time.” And help make the rest of your marriage happier and more intimate.
My guest Lolita did just that. Her husband would fall asleep on the sofa and she would lie in bed feeling angry and abandoned. Once she began to practice the Intimacy Skills in earnest, her marriage quickly became peaceful and joyful. Now they are happier than ever.
She’ll tell us how she did it so you can do it too. Check out today’s episode of The Empowered Wife Podcast: “My Husband Won’t Come to Bed with Me.”
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