There’s an island theme in Part 1. Starting with the return of football to Ascension Island, an isolated outpost in the Atlantic Ocean. It will be the second-most remote place to host football in the world – but what is the first?! Next up is Malta, where the only team in the pyramid from the neighbouring island of Gozo has made a 100% start to the season and the top flight has adopted a Latin American-style format. Our final stop in this segment is Cyprus, where Omonia Nicosia are preparing to face their breakaway rivals Omonia 29M.

Part 2 contains a selection of great stories from across the European continent. There are shocks in France and Portugal as top-flight teams are dumped out of the cup by amateur opponents. Lazio have sacked their falconer for posting inappropriate pictures online, but he is reportedly refusing to leave their Formello training ground – where he has lived for the past 15 years! And finally, the bizarre tale of North Korea’s short-lived friendly against Kosovan club SC Gjilani – and perhaps the craziest pre-match graphic that has ever been made!

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RUNNING ORDER:

00:00 – Intro

01:21 – Ascension Island’s tortoise troubles

11:00 – Gozitans off to flying start in Malta

18:01 – Omonia Nicosia’s breakaway rivals

28:17 – Amateur cupsets across the continent

35:45 – The bizarre tale of Lazio’s falconer

41:03 – North Korea’s short-lived friendly

49:39 – The Sweeper's revamped Patreon

Editor: Ralph Foster

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Ascension Island’s tortoise troubles, Omonia’s fan-paid groceries & Lazio’s live-in falconer