Talking Shit with Zachary Zane: Sex is a Huge Part of My Sexuality
Aug 27, 2023
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Author and bisexual icon, Zachary Zane, discusses bisexual men, sexual shame, and the complexities of consent. They challenge stereotypes of bisexual men and explore the devastating impact of sexual shame. They also delve into navigating consent in queer communities and the power of being direct in expressing sexual desires. Find out where to support Zachary's work.
Unpacking and addressing sexual shame leads to greater freedom and fulfillment in sexual experiences.
Being audibly bisexual promotes community, challenges stigma, and fosters inclusivity.
Queer culture can learn from gay culture by fostering a more sex-positive environment through embracing sexual autonomy and understanding diverse risk tolerances.
Deep dives
The Impact of Sexual Shame
Sexual shame is pervasive and insidious, impacting every aspect of a person's life. It can lead to feelings of frustration, sadness, and a negative self-image. By unpacking and addressing sexual shame, individuals can experience a greater sense of freedom and fulfillment in their sexual experiences.
Bisexual Audibility
Bisexual audibility refers to being vocal, proud, and open about one's bisexuality. It emphasizes the importance of using the word 'bisexual' and openly discussing attraction to multiple genders. By being audibly bisexual, individuals can find community, challenge stigma, and promote inclusivity.
Challenging Sex Negativity and Shame
Sex-positive spaces sometimes perpetuate sex negativity and shame, even within the queer community. It is important for queer culture to learn from gay culture by fostering a more sex-positive environment. This includes embracing sexual autonomy, open communication, and understanding diverse risk tolerances.
Understanding Risk and Consent
Risk and consent are crucial aspects of sexual experiences. Acknowledging the inherent risks involved in all sexual behaviors can foster safer and more fulfilling encounters. Balancing enthusiastic consent and respecting personal boundaries can lead to more satisfying sexual encounters.
Embracing Sexual Responsibility
Embracing sexual responsibility entails being aware of and communicating one's level of comfort and triggers. It is important to understand the risks involved in certain sexual experiences and take personal responsibility. This lesson can be applied by the queer culture to learn from gay men's approach to sexual responsibility and risk-taking.
Navigating Consent and Gray Areas
Exploring the nuances and gray areas of consent can be challenging. People often engage in sexual experiences in messy and ambiguous ways, and it's essential to acknowledge the complexity. Real-life encounters may not always fit into a simplified model of consent. Understanding personal preferences, navigating the gray areas, and effective communication can help individuals have more fulfilling sexual experiences.
In Episode 54, we are joined by author and bisexual icon, Zachary Zane, of the book Boyslut. We talk about bisexual men, biphobia, and bisexual audibility. We discuss sexual shame, sexual risk, and the complexities of consent. An unabashedly pro-sex, pro-desire writer, Zachary shines light on what men-who-fuck-men communities can teach the rest of us. This is three thirsty bisexuals talking shit. Absolutely iconic.
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