The book 'Everyday Utopias' by Kristen Godsey explores the need for care in society and families, emphasizing the importance of finding sufficient care and creating living arrangements that prioritize care and community.
The podcast examines the historical and cultural diversity of family structures, highlighting the uniqueness of the nuclear family and the potential for alternative family arrangements, such as cooperative breeding and wider networks of love, support, and cooperation in raising children.
The challenges faced by experimental living communities like communes and kibbutzim are discussed, including economic pressures and changing societal expectations, while exploring alternative parenting approaches like platonic parenting and co-parenting, and the benefits of expanding kinship networks and diverse forms of caregiving relationships.
Deep dives
The Importance of Care in Society and Families
The podcast explores the book 'Everyday Utopias' by Kristen Godsey, which delves into the concept of care in society and families. It discusses the need to find sufficient care, share caregiving responsibilities, and create living arrangements that prioritize care and community.
The Evolution and Diversity of Family Forms
The podcast examines the historical and cultural diversity of family structures, highlighting the uniqueness of the nuclear family and the potential for alternative family arrangements. It explores the concept of cooperative breeding and the benefits of wider networks of love, support, and cooperation in raising children.
Challenges and Possibilities of Experimental Living
The podcast discusses the challenges faced by experimental living communities such as communes and kibbutzim, including economic pressures and changing societal expectations. It also explores alternative approaches to parenting, such as platonic parenting and co-parenting, as well as the potential benefits of expanding kinship networks and creating diverse forms of caregiving relationships.
Importance of Communal Living in Different Life Phases
Communal living plays a significant role in different life phases, such as when individuals are young and starting their careers and when they reach old age. In the younger years, communal living provides a suitable solution for those with limited financial resources, fostering connections and a sense of community. Similarly, in old age, communal living becomes essential as family support may be limited, resulting in the need for retirement communities. These communities, whether called retirement communities or eco villages, offer support and companionship, allowing individuals to live a more sustainable lifestyle and reducing their impact on the earth. Both phases of life benefit from wider networks and reduced loneliness, creating a more equitable distribution of parenting responsibilities and daily life tasks.
Scarcity, Choice, and the Boundlessness of Love
The concept of scarcity deeply influences our choices and preferences, even extending to love and relationships. In modern societies, there is a tendency to view love and attention as finite resources, leading to transactional behavior and a focus on material markers of esteem. However, many utopian communities, both secular and religious, challenge this notion by emphasizing the boundless nature of love and prioritizing communal sharing. These communities reject the link between romantic partnerships and child-rearing, affirming that while romantic attachments may be exclusive, child-rearing can be done within a wider network of care. By embracing this perspective, communities aim to alleviate exhaustion, redefine notions of success and wealth, and foster a sense of abundance in time, care, and social support.
“Today’s future-positive writers critique our economies while largely seeming to ignore that anything might be amiss in our private lives,” writes Kristen Ghodsee. Even our most ambitious visions of utopia tend to focus on outcomes that can be achieved through public policy — things like abundant clean energy or liberation from employment — while ignoring many of the aspects of our lives that matter to us the most: how we live, raise our children, and tend to our most meaningful relationships.
Ghodsee’s new book, “Everyday Utopia: What 2,000 Years of Wild Experiments Can Teach Us About the Good Life,” is an attempt to change that. The book is a tour of radical social experiments from communes and ecovillages to “platonic parenting” and intentional communities. But, on a deeper level, it’s a critique of the way existing structures of family and community life have left so many of us devoid of care and connection, and a vision of what it could mean to organize our lives differently.
This episode was produced by Emefa Agawu. Fact-checking by Michelle Harris, Mary Marge Locker and Kate Sinclair. Mixing by Jeff Geld. The show’s production team is Annie Galvin, Jeff Geld, Rogé Karma and Kristin Lin. Original music by Isaac Jones. Audience strategy by Shannon Busta. The executive producer of New York Times Opinion Audio is Annie-Rose Strasser. Special thanks to Sonia Herrero and Kristina Samulewski.
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