Shameless Sex

#413 Chasing Trouble: Why We Fall for the Bad Boy or Hot Mess - with Dr. Ray Doktor

Dec 24, 2024
Dr. Ray Doktor, a best-selling author and relationship expert with over 28 years of experience, dives into the allure of 'bad boys' and 'hot messes.' He explains what draws us to these wild personalities—thrill, danger, and deeper emotional triggers. The discussion reveals how to identify red flags in relationships and practical tips for healing from toxic partners. With insights on shifting attraction to healthier choices and the importance of self-awareness, listeners gain valuable advice for nurturing authentic connections.
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ANECDOTE

Stripper to Sex Expert

  • Dr. Ray Doktor became a stripper to support his music career, exposing him to trauma and unhealthy relationship patterns.
  • This led him to explore sexuality and mentor under a Qigong and sexual energy grand master.
INSIGHT

Bad Boy vs. Hot Mess

  • "Bad boy" traits stem from nonconformity, confidence, and a contrasting masculine energy that some women find appealing.
  • "Hot messes" possess an alluring feminine essence and vulnerability, attracting men who feel a need to rescue or conquer.
ANECDOTE

Traumatic Encounter

  • Dr. Ray Doktor recounts a traumatic sexual experience with a "hot mess" who reenacted her past rape without his consent.
  • This highlights how unhealed trauma can manifest in harmful ways within intimate relationships.
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