Pico Iyer on how solitude, stillness, and silence play an essential counterbalance to the traveling life
Jan 14, 2025
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In this conversation, Pico Iyer, a renowned novelist and essayist, shares insights from his life exploring solitude and stillness. He emphasizes how true travel is enriched by moments of quiet reflection. Iyer discusses his experiences with monks, the importance of a childlike approach to life, and how solitude deepens connections to nature and others. The episode also delves into the dual nature of fire as a metaphor for spiritual renewal and the power of silence in cultivating meaningful relationships amid contemporary distractions.
Solitude and stillness are essential for personal growth, providing a space to connect with one's best self and deepen relationships with others.
Engaging with various contemplative traditions allows individuals to explore spirituality beyond dogmatic boundaries, enriching their understanding of self and others.
Longing serves as a powerful catalyst for personal transformation, emphasizing the journey of seeking over mere fulfillment of desires in our lives.
Deep dives
Actions Over Beliefs
The discussion emphasizes the significance of actions over beliefs, highlighting that personal conduct is often more revealing than professed ideologies. The speaker reflects on interpersonal relationships, noting that some individuals who share similar beliefs might act in ways that are disheartening, while those with opposing views may display impressive acts of kindness and heroism. This observation suggests that measuring someone's character or values should focus more on their behavior and interactions within the world. Such reflections challenge conventional norms about conformity and the alignment of beliefs and actions.
The Power of Silence and Contemplation
The conversation explores the transformative impact of silence and stillness on personal growth and perspective. Silence is portrayed as a medium that enhances one's connection with the world, allowing for deeper listening and reflection. The speaker connects his experiences of silence with the stress of modern life, emphasizing the importance of retreating from noise to gain clarity and insight. The insights gained from moments of quiet contemplation help individuals navigate their inner and outer worlds with more intention.
Bridging Traditions and Culture
The dialogue highlights the richness of engaging with different contemplative traditions across cultures and religions. Despite not identifying strictly with Christianity, the speaker appreciates the wisdom from various spiritual practices, including those of the Catholic monks he encounters. This conversation illustrates a broader vision of spirituality, where experiences of the sacred transcend dogmatic boundaries. By engaging with different traditions, individuals can foster a deeper understanding of their own beliefs and those of others.
The Role of Longing in Spirituality
Longing emerges as a central theme, representing a profound aspect of the human condition connecting individuals to their inner selves and the essence of existence. It's described as a source of ecstasy that enhances life's richness and complexity, encouraging individuals to continuously strive for deeper understanding. The recognition that longing is inherent to the human experience suggests that fulfillment lies not in achieving desires but in embracing the journey of seeking. Cultivating this sense of yearning invites a deeper engagement with both oneself and the world.
Community and Shared Experience
The importance of community in spiritual growth is stressed, showcasing how shared experiences enrich the individual’s journey. Rather than isolated practices, communal engagement fosters connections through mutual understanding and support. The speaker notes that profound moments of personal insight often arise from interactions with others, and the act of sharing one's silence can deepen relationships. This interconnectedness reinforces that personal spirituality is not merely an individual pursuit but can uplift and inspire collective growth.
“In solitude, I often feel closer to the people I care for than when they’re in the same room.” –Pico Iyer
In this episode of Deviate, Rolf and Pico talk about how the best travels are often counterbalanced with a kind of stillness, in which one can find one’s “best self” (3:00); Pico’s decades-long experiences with monks in a California monastery, the benefits of a “childlike attitude” toward life, and how “fire” can be a metaphor for spiritual life (12:00); how Pico’s solitude is informed by, and in conversation with, nature (22:00); Pico’s engaged relationship with spiritual communities, even though he is not religious (30:00); the “counterculture” spiritual tradition that grew up around Big Sur, California, and the power of longing (39:00); and how solitude can be a gateway to other people (47:00).