What Depression Feels Like in the Moment: Real Stories of Darkness and Healing

What does depression feel like when you’re right in the middle of it?

In this candid episode of Giving Voice to Depression, author and advocate Gina Capobianco courageously shares her experience of recording while actively struggling through a depressive relapse. Instead of looking back from a place of distance, Gina offers a raw, unfiltered glimpse into the reality of living with depression in real time.

She talks about how depression stole the joy of her book launch, the weight of intrusive thoughts, and the ongoing struggle to find treatments that help. Yet even in the midst of the darkness, Gina continues to use her voice to advocate for awareness, break stigma, and remind others that healing is possible—even if recovery is a lifelong journey.

This episode is a rare and powerful insight into the lived experience of depression and the resilience it takes to keep showing up, even when hope feels far away.

Link to Gina's website: https://www.ginacapobianco.com/

Primary Topics Covered:

• How depression “steals” opportunities, relationships, and joy
• Gina’s relapse after TMS treatment and starting ketamine therapy
• Why thoughts can be the hardest symptom to manage
• The stigma that makes it hard to talk about depression at work
• What it feels like to be in the middle of a depressive episode
• Healing vs. recovery: why the difference matters
• The importance of care teams, rest, and self-advocacy
• Using poetry and writing as tools for mental health expression
• Why speaking up from the darkness helps others feel less alone
• How hope can come from leaning on others when you can’t hold it yourself

Timestamps

00:11 Introduction to the episode
 01:10 How depression takes things from people’s lives
 02:03 Stories from the Facebook community about what depression has stolen
 03:10 Meet Gina, author and mental health advocate
 04:47 Gina describes her depressive relapse despite TMS treatment
 06:14 Her care team’s recommendation to take sick leave
 07:44 Coping with darkness and intrusive thoughts
 08:15 Why she chose to record while still struggling
 09:15 The impact of stigma in the workplace
 10:23 Intrusive and suicidal thoughts as the hardest symptom
 11:53 Recognizing thoughts as symptoms, not truths
 14:04 Losing her book launch to depression’s grip
 15:30 How healing differs from recovery
 17:49 Depression as a lifelong illness requiring ongoing management
 18:56 Healing as a journey, not a destination
 19:15 Finding purpose by giving back through advocacy
 20:11 Update: ketamine treatment begins working
 20:29 Reflections from the co-hosts on what depression really steals
 22:30 Why being honest about depression in the moment matters
 24:27 Closing reflections and resources

Explore mental health and addiction treatment options at recovery.com
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