Dayna Abraham, an expert in understanding and navigating behavioral struggles in children, discusses the importance of not seeing children as broken or parents as failures. They talk about creating a plan for parenting storms, not taking things personally, shifting perspective, and strategies for connecting and understanding children's behavior. They also address the challenges of disengaging children from digital devices and the need for tech-wise parenting in today's digital era
Even if our child has behavioral struggles, they aren't broken and we aren't failing.
Creating a 'ride the storm' plan involves grounding oneself, not taking the child's behavior personally, and replacing negative thoughts with compassionate perspectives.
Deep dives
The Four Pillars of Parenting
The podcast episode explores the four pillars of parenting: You, Connection, Understanding, and Empowerment. The guest, Dana Abraham, emphasizes the importance of focusing on oneself, maintaining calm, and building energy reserves as essential elements in dealing with challenging parenting situations. Abraham also highlights the significance of connection, acceptance, and understanding of the child's unique needs and experiences. The episode further discusses the importance of empowering both parents and children, teaching skills, and collaborating in problem-solving. By incorporating these four pillars, parents can create customized solutions to navigate parenting challenges effectively.
Navigating Stormy Parenting Moments
The podcast delves into strategies for handling difficult moments with children. The host suggests a 'ride the storm' plan, which involves grounding oneself, taking deep breaths, and finding an anchor to remain calm and regulated during intense parenting moments. The episode emphasizes the importance of not taking the child's behavior personally and instead viewing it as a form of communication. It discusses the value of thought swaps, where parents challenge negative thoughts and replace them with more realistic and compassionate perspectives. The guest also introduces the concepts of connection through physical presence and understanding through an assessment of the child's basic needs, sensory experiences, and emotions. Additionally, the episode highlights the significance of providing appropriate responses and tools to empower both parents and children during challenging moments.
The Five-Stage Approach to Parenting Challenges
The podcast presents a five-stage approach to addressing parenting challenges. The host and guest discuss the importance of starting with a 'writing the storm' plan, which focuses on ensuring the safety and well-being of both parents and children during intense moments. They highlight the significance of energy reserves, emphasizing that depleted parents cannot effectively support their children. The episode explores the idea of 'defusing the situation,' where parents remain curious and empathetic to understand the underlying needs and triggers behind a child's behavior. The conversation continues to the stage of 'getting ahead of it,' where parents focus on problem-solving, skill-building, and collaboration. Finally, the podcast emphasizes the stage of 'building systems,' including personal boundaries, routines, and agreements that support a balanced and harmonious family dynamic.
In this conversation, Susan and Dayna talk about how important it is to understand that even if our child has behavioral struggles, they aren’t broken and we aren’t failing. They go on to discuss creating a plan for parenting storms, not taking things personally, and shifting our perspective. https://susanstiffelman.com/dayna-abraham-podcast/
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