Are “onlies” lonely? Busting myths about only children, with Toni Falbo, PhD
Oct 16, 2024
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Toni Falbo, a Professor of Educational Psychology at UT Austin and expert on only children, dispels myths about their supposed loneliness and maladjustment. She reveals that only children often excel socially and academically, challenging negative stereotypes. The discussion navigates the growing trend of single-child families, influenced by modern factors like economic concerns. Practical parenting advice on promoting healthy social interactions rounds out the conversation, debunking myths around screen time and imaginary friends.
Research challenges the myth that only children are lonely, revealing they often report lower loneliness levels than peers with siblings.
Focused parental attention for only children enhances their academic skills, enabling them to develop strong social abilities over time.
Deep dives
Debunking Stereotypes About Only Children
Many common stereotypes suggest that only children are lonely, spoiled, and maladjusted, originating from a misunderstanding of their experiences. Historically, these beliefs were based on assumptions rather than scientific evidence, with people presuming that a lack of siblings leads to social and developmental deficits. However, research shows that only children often fare just as well, or even better, in various aspects of life compared to their peers with siblings. For example, studies indicate that only children in countries like China report feeling less lonely than those with siblings, challenging the notion that isolation leads to chronic loneliness.
Academic and Social Advantages of Being an Only Child
Only children often benefit from receiving more focused parental attention, which can contribute to their academic success. Research has shown that they typically excel in vocabulary and reading skills at an earlier age, thanks to engaging conversations with their parents. As they grow older, they develop social skills that allow them to maintain friendships akin to their peers with siblings. This suggests that while they might initially spend more time alone, they learn to navigate social settings successfully by middle childhood.
Cultural Perspectives on Parenting Only Children
Cultural attitudes towards only children can vary significantly, influencing parenting styles and social expectations. In the U.S., the stereotype persists that only children may be spoiled, yet studies reveal that the quality of the parent-child relationship is often stronger when there is only one child. In contrast, in places like China, where strict population policies have led to a generation of only children, the societal pressure on these children to achieve can be intense, often resulting in high expectations for academic and social performance. As a result, only children worldwide typically face unique challenges and advantages shaped by their cultural contexts.
Even as the average family size shrinks in much of the world, myths about only children remain common – including that they’re lonely, spoiled or maladjusted. Toni Falbo, PhD, talks about her decades of research with only children that have dispelled many of these myths, explains what researchers have found instead, and offers advice for parents of only children.