21: Our Evolution into a Beautiful, Non-Sexual, Polyamorous Marriage
Nov 29, 2021
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The podcast discusses the journey of a couple evolving into a non-sexual, polyamorous marriage. They explore the factors behind their evolution, such as asexual feelings, postpartum motherhood, and long-term relationships. They emphasize that their evolution does not represent all polyamorous married couples and share why they chose to stay married. The podcast also delves into the concept of non-sexual intimacy in long-term relationships and negotiating sex and desire in a polyamorous marriage. They express gratitude for their supportive community and encourage listeners to join.
The hosts emphasize the significance of aligning in multiple areas beyond sexual and romantic compatibility, such as domestic, emotional, spiritual, political, cultural, and artistic alignment.
The episode challenges the societal narrative that long-term relationships inevitably result in a loss of sexual attraction and encourages exploring alternative narratives while actively working to maintain a fulfilling connection.
The hosts stress the importance of emotional bonding, alignment in various categories, co-parenting, shared values, and navigating societal challenges as reasons to stay committed and connected in a changing relationship.
Deep dives
The podcast explores the evolution of a polyamorous asexual marriage
The podcast episode delves into the journey of a couple who navigate their evolving relationship, specifically the shift towards an asexual attraction on one side. They discuss the challenges, emotions, and negotiations involved in redefining their marriage within the context of ethical non-monogamy.
The importance of alignment in various aspects of a relationship
The hosts emphasize the significance of aligning in multiple areas of a relationship beyond sexual and romantic compatibility. They discuss how domestic, emotional, spiritual, political, cultural, and artistic alignment play crucial roles in sustaining a deep connection and addressing the complexities that may arise when navigating a relationship with a shifting dynamic.
Challenging societal expectations in long-term relationships
The episode challenges the societal narrative that long-term relationships inevitably result in a loss of sexual attraction. While acknowledging that certain factors like biology or cultural conditioning can influence changes in attraction, the hosts recommend exploring alternative narratives and actively working to maintain a fulfilling connection by redefining relationships and embracing personal desires and needs.
Dissecting the reasons to stay married
The hosts dive into the reasons why they choose to stay married despite the evolving dynamics of their relationship. They highlight the importance of emotional bonding, alignment in various categories, co-parenting, shared values, and navigating the challenges of surviving within a capitalist society as factors that contribute to their continued commitment and connection.
Redefining love and relationships
The episode promotes the idea of redefining love and relationships to fit individual needs, preferences, and journeys. It encourages listeners to question societal norms, explore alternative relationship structures like polyamory, and prioritize alignment in various aspects of a partnership, highlighting the importance of open communication, negotiation, and constant assessment of what truly fulfills each partner in a relationship.
In this extremely vulnerable episode, The Daylovers "come out", and share with you the raw details of their evolution into a beautiful, asexual, polyamorous marriage.
They lay out every piece of their journey:
Jes's fearful confession of her asexual feelings toward Joe a few months ago,
how that landed in Joe's world,
Joe's processing of those emotions,
why they think of it as an "evolution", and
Jes's very detailed theory as to the factors behind this evolution-- including pieces of their past, Jes's demisexuality, life as a postpartum mother, the nature of long term relationships, and Joe's exploration of his own sexuality.
They sternly offer several disclaimers, including that just because they are polyam, does NOT mean all polyam married folks are asexual, nor does it mean they're polyamorous "because" of their asexual vibe; and most importantly, they did not "become asexual" as a consequence of exploring polyamory.
The episode ends with their mutual unpacking of their extremely passionate, and also thorough, answer to the question: "Then why stay married?"
If you are exploring similar dynamics in your relationship, you are not alone. Head to www.remodeledlove.com and click on "peer support" to learn more about how The Daylovers can hold space for you, and guide you through this shift into a beautiful expansion.
#RedefineMarriage
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