Shelah Marie, founder of the Curvy, Curly Conscious Movement and author of 'Unruly,' shares her journey of self-empowerment and acceptance for Black women. She highlights the need to embrace our imperfections and unacknowledged successes. The conversation dives into the power of vulnerability and the 'crooked room' metaphor, challenging societal expectations. Shelah encourages listeners to celebrate their identities and practice self-compassion while pursuing personal growth through ritual and the transformative act of writing self-acceptance letters.
Shelah Marie emphasizes the importance of Black women's self-discovery and empowerment in creating dedicated spaces free from external judgment.
The concept of 'unruliness' encourages individuals to embrace the full spectrum of their identities, including both strengths and perceived flaws.
The practice of 'serious daydreaming' serves as a transformative tool for self-discovery, enabling individuals to visualize their aspirations and connect with their unlimited selves.
Deep dives
Introducing Sounds True One
A new digital platform called Sounds True One has been launched, featuring a range of original content designed to support personal transformation. It includes docuseries, community events, and classes that cater to both energizing mornings and relaxing evenings. One of the highlights is the live sessions of the podcast, which offer community interaction through after-show Q&A sessions with guest speakers. This initiative aims to create a vibrant community for those seeking to connect with like-minded individuals and deepen their personal growth journeys.
The Importance of Safe Spaces for Black Women
Sheila Marie emphasizes the need for dedicated spaces for Black women, particularly through her unruly retreats, which focus on self-discovery and empowerment. She explains that these retreats create a safe environment where participants can share their daily experiences as Black women without the pressure of external judgment. The discussions often revolve around the controversy of why such spaces are necessary, highlighting that they serve as vital support systems in a world fraught with inequalities. By centering her work around Black women's experiences, Sheila believes that specificity can lead to universal truths that resonate with all women.
Embracing Unruliness and Inner Diversity
The concept of 'unruliness' is about embracing the full spectrum of one’s inner self, including the parts that society often deems unworthy or unacceptable. Sheila explains that all people, especially women, face pressures to conform and mask different facets of their identities. By allowing these diverse inner aspects to coexist rather than suppressing them, individuals can express their authentic selves fully. Sheila encourages women to accept both their strengths and perceived flaws, emphasizing that true freedom comes from honoring all aspects of personal identity.
Understanding Personal Contradictions
Acknowledging and embracing personal contradictions is a pivotal theme in Sheila's philosophy. She believes that the ability to hold opposing truths—like being both spiritual while enjoying life's pleasures—affirms one’s humanity. Sheila reflects on her personal journey through various roles and identities, emphasizing that each facet serves a purpose and shines light on different experiences. This acceptance fosters resilience and creates a more integrated self, enhancing one's capacity to navigate life’s complexities authentically.
The Concept of Serious Daydreaming
Sheila introduces the practice of 'serious daydreaming' as a tool for self-discovery and envisioning possibilities. This technique involves visualization, where individuals mentally access their 'unlimited self'—the version of themselves who has already achieved their desires. Through guided breath work and meditation, participants can connect with this self and glean insights and energies to inform their real lives. This practice serves as a reminder that imagination holds transformative power and can chart the course for personal aspirations.
Too many Black women are living other people’s stories for their lives, making themselves smaller to serve other people or society’s expectations. Shelah Marie is here to inform us that we can break free from cultural restrictions and our self-imposed barriers and unabashedly be who we really are, including our imperfections, our growth areas, our unacknowledged successes, and everything in between. In this podcast, Tami Simon speaks with Shelah Marie about her new book, Unruly, an empowering work that gives you full permission and practical support in fully being yourself.
Tune in now as Tami and Shelah discuss: how specificity leads to universality; embracing our inner contradictions; the gifts of self-investigation; how many things can be true at the same time; the practice of writing a self-acceptance letter; ritual and celebration; performing true; “main character” energy; owning your mess; vulnerability and the courage to “show your seams”; becoming friends with yourself; the crooked room metaphor for the experience of being a Black woman; personal accountability and self-compassion; the Serious Daydreaming practice; and more.
Note: This episode originally aired on Sounds True One, where these special episodes of Insights at the Edge are available to watch live on video and with exclusive access to Q&As with our guests. Learn more at join.soundstrue.com.
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