67. Housework is not Mothering

Anyone who has had children or cared for children knows that they contribute to the creation of housework! But the work that goes into the domestic sphere of housework, is different from the work that goes into care-giving and mothering. The two are connected, but conflating them as meaning the same thing, leads to huge pressures and ‘shoulds’ in Motherhood. This leads to feelings of guilt, comparison, inadequacy and overwhelm. Conflating housework and mothering can also invisibilise the nurturance, love, maternal thinking, and emotional labour that goes into raising children. I explain some of the reasons why I think the two are conflated - by talking about the 'public' and 'private' spheres of 'work' and 'home'. When mothering is devalued, and how ‘on top of’ the housework we are is connected with our value and worthiness as women and mothers – we can become trapped in never-ending cycles of never feeling ‘enough’. While unpacking these connections, I also explain why I caution against denigrating housework and seeing domestic labour as ‘lesser than’ other forms of work. I explain why I think the conflation of housework and mothering-work is a function of patriarchal Motherhood and the perfect mother myth, and call for us individually and collectively to begin breaking this association and reclaiming our power, our worth, and our value. . . . Watch 3min animation on Sophie's one-of-a-kind sociological model for understanding Motherhood - https://drsophiebrock.com/thefishtankofmotherhood