When you were 19, your friend randel was murdered. And then that night, you've written about how your friends and you went to his mom's house trying to figure out who did this. And you were thinking very much about revenge, thinking about the possibilities invisioning murdering the man who murdered your friend. That's a very human thing. I think that most of us don't ever meet that part of ourselves that exists within all of us, this rage that, when triggered, will cause you to do the things that you don't necessarily understand that you're doing. Ye and for me, that is the scream inside. It feels like it i think that's why people get