2min chapter

10% Happier with Dan Harris cover image

The Cost of Living With a Secret | Geena Rocero

10% Happier with Dan Harris

CHAPTER

The North Star of Horse Barbie

I think there's something kind of universal in your use of the word paranoia and living with this fear of being found out. At this time when you were kind of gaining and losing an identity simultaneously, this spirit was what kind of kept you grounded. And so horse Barbie sounds to me like your inner dignity, strength, certainty in your own goodness. I think all of us could benefit from naming that part of ourselves, seeing it clearly and relying on it during difficult times.

00:00
Speaker 2
At this time when you were kind of gaining and losing an identity simultaneously, this spirit, as you called it, was what kind of kept you grounded. It was the life preserver in a raging ocean, it sounds to me.
Speaker 1
Perfectly put. It's an ember that had to kept, you know, alive in this, you know, any moment of being found out.
Speaker 2
I want to talk a little bit more about you use the word paranoia and living with this fear of being found out. But let me just stick with horse Barbie for a second because I feel like there's something kind of universal there that many of us may not actually do this, but we probably should is to, even back it up even further, there's a kind of therapy called internal family systems where you name all the different parts of yourself. You know, a lot of us have parts of ourselves that we are ashamed of or that we hate and that we cannot make peace with. And so we compartmentalize or we pretend it's not there. And then of course, every once in a while, that part of our personality gets hold of the steering wheel and we do a bunch of shit that we later regret. And so it's important to, according to this IFS theory that I have a decent relationship with these various parts of yourself. Some parts of ourselves though are incredibly awesome and empowering and are like our own little version of the Buddhist and Hindu deities of compassion that we hear about. And so horse Barbie sounds to me like your inner dignity, strength, certainty in your own goodness. And I think all of us could benefit from naming that part of ourselves, seeing it clearly and relying on it during difficult times. Does that make sense?
Speaker 1
I connect to everything that you said there because I think as I wrote this book, certainly I remember horse Barbie is that spirit for me and I could talk to horse Barbie next to my shoulder. And even the whole book, it's written each chapter title is almost like its own identities that it carried with me. And sometimes I felt like on each chapter that I've gone through, I had to inhabit those identity and new names because it came from a very, very different culture growing up born and raised in the Philippines so to adjust, to evolve, to survive. But at the same time, that North Star of horse Barbie, I needed to have all
Speaker 2
those.

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