Navigating Non-Hierarchical Polyamory

Today we get to hear an incredible New York Love Story like no other! Bear is a Black queer man of trans experience, born, raised and currently residing in Brooklyn, NY. Fifi is a first-generation queer, non-binary Puerto Rican born, raised, and also living in New York. And together they have forged a partnership that is uniquely theirs and is mutually uplifting while defying the status quo of what everyone says a relationship "should" be.

They describe themselves as solo polyamorists who live together as a family and run a business together. They met over a decade ago at a party and since then have been loving and supporting one another on their individual healing journeys of coming out and embracing their authentic selves.

Bear and Fifi also do incredibly powerful work in educating and supporting others in their own journeys. The following descriptions come directly from their website and capture who they are better than we could ever imagine doing ourselves. Please check out their website for more information on how to work with these two amazing humans!

Before teaching adults, Bear taught poetry to youth in NYC public schools. He began his career as a coach and case manager in 2018, and has since serviced people of all abilities, backgrounds, and circumstances.

During his time in a private residential treatment facility for adults with mental diagnoses and substance abuse disorders, he practiced crisis intervention, de-escalation tactics, and harm reduction protocols. He then managed cases at Callen Lorde community health clinic and trained in public health policy, gender affirming care, and safer sex. He also distributed housing and medical resources to NYC’s most vulnerable populations.

Bear co-founded Bear & Fifi Coaching in November 2021 with his partner, and became an Urban Tantra certified somatic practitioner in November 2022. He authors all Bear & Fifi Coaching theory and curriculum, including the creation of accessibility conscious tools and exercises to support emotional/nervous system regulation, non-violent communication, vulnerability + connection, and erotic embodiment.

Individually, Bear works with men and masc people of all experiences, members of the TGNC community and survivors of complex relational trauma and abuse.

Fifi is a trained architect, social entrepreneur, and spiritual guide. Their lens is informed by their knowledge of design systems, Tantric embodiment + Kundalini yoga, 17 years of practicing and teaching meditation, and 12 years of continuous recovery from anxiety disorders. As a certified Urban Tantra practitioner, they coach people, particularly those socialized as women, seeking better relationships, deeper intimacy, and more authenticity in their lives. Whether by creating personalized rituals or guiding you through accessing your intuition, Fifi’s goal is to support you with using sensuality as a therapeutic tool and building foundations for a life beyond what you think you deserve.

Fifi is also a non-profit executive serving communities in The Bronx and Harlem through social change and leadership fellowships, art enrichment programs, and historical-multicultural performance presentations.

Check out the full show notes here.

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