A big reason why people who were neglected as children struggle to form stable, lasting relationships is because of insecure attachment. You might RUSH in and get enmeshed with someone you just met – and then freak out when it becomes clear that just because you’re sleeping together, the commitment and predictability of a real relationship isn’t there – or isn’t there YET. If you’re not clear what you want – not just in your mind but in your words and actions – you are unlikely to get what you want. And the shame of it is, you may be pushing away perfectly good people, who like you, but are put off by the odd behaviors that come out of you when you’re trying to hide how confused and freaked out you are. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who feels crushed that someone she's just begun dating isn't "there" for her.

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