Are You Manipulating the Universe?

I find that when I feel like pain or anger or fear, especially when I'm sharing it with somebody, I do a manipulation thing where I think I'm facing it but a lot of it gets pushed down inside. And so my question I guess is how to really keep open to those things and backplane that being with them. To tell me these things in yourself is acknowledging the fact that you see them at some level. It's not a real conscious thing. It's an ego thing. Well most of everything we do is on this plane. The spirit is mediated through ego. It's just the question of how identified you are with it. Many relationships don't have that kind of