47. Boundaries
UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone
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How to Take Back Power Over Your Thoughts and Feelings
"I get a lot of emails telling me that gaslighting exists and other people can control your thoughts with their words or actions," she says. "This is why taking responsibility for your own thoughts and feelings no matter what someone else is doing is actually the most important thing you can do." If you make a boundary intended to stop the other person's behavior, that is not a boundary. It's an ultimatum and it usually won't work,. The person can tell you're trying to control them and they're going to be resistant to it. You coach yourself until you feel clear. And then decide exactly what the boundary is.
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