Promise to Buy a Hat with Aspiration Card

How did Adam Silver end up in bed with a paper magnate? Why did a 77-point airing of grievances about A-Rod help to free Anthony Edwards? And can this all be solved with an Aspiration credit card? Plus: Moldovan bots, embroidered hats, Sporcle quizzes and one very confusing encounter at the Mall of America.

• Previously on PTFO: How the Billion-Dollar War to Own the Timberwolves Went Nuclear

• Further content: The Long Days and Wild Nights That Saved the Wolves from Leaving Minnesota by Jon Krawczynski

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