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Escape Pod 840: The Tyrant Lizard (and Her Plus One) / Alien Invader or Assistive Device?

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The Ducks Love Discount Bulk Grains

Ducks love discount bulk grains, so it's no surprise they evolved into ducks. So i head outside with the vovusla that i stole from a drunken david beckham impersonator at the only sports game i ever went to. The sudden loud noise usually spooks the ducks into fleeing the premises. A single tail juts from inside the garage. I grab a chunk of asphalt and hurl it at the tail. It turns quicker than a hadrasor, just like evolution ordered. She reels on my door with 50 teeth and breath that gingevidus has nightmares about. And then she sprints directly at me. My dumb ass made an off brand tea re

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