In this candid and emotionally powerful episode of FamilyLife Today, co-hosts Ann and Dave Wilson sit down to talk about their deeply personal journey of transformation within their marriage — a journey that led to the writing of their new book, How to Speak Life to Your Husband When All You Want to Do is Yell at Him.
What begins as a lighthearted moment with Dave calling Ann his favorite guest quickly turns into a raw exploration of how words — especially those said (or not said) in marriage — can either give life or slowly crush someone's spirit. Ann shares the heartbreaking realization that her constant critiques, though intended as help, came across as boos to Dave — a far cry from the encouragement he needed.
The episode dives into a pivotal moment when Dave, during an impromptu speaking engagement at a women’s group, publicly revealed that after their marriage, he no longer felt cheered on by Ann but instead heard “boo, boo, boo” when walking in the door. This blindsided Ann and led to a very tense ride home, followed by a powerful personal reckoning with God. Ann’s honest prayer and God’s gentle but firm response (“Yes”) started a spiritual and emotional transformation that impacted their marriage and parenting deeply.
They discuss how expectations, unmet hopes, and internal scripts shape how women view their husbands — and how the enemy (Satan) can fuel those disappointments with subtle whispers that deepen discontent. Brain science also comes into play, as Ann notes that 85% of our thoughts are negative and 95% are repetitive, illustrating how easily women can spiral into patterns of criticism.
Throughout the episode, the Wilsons reflect on Scripture (especially Proverbs 18:21 and Matthew 7:3-5), the role of pride, and how important it is to take thoughts captive. They talk about how Ann began intentionally looking for and vocalizing the good in Dave. It started with thanking him for simple things — like working hard — and grew into genuine, spirit-building encouragement that transformed not just their marriage but their legacy.
They emphasize that this message is not for abusive relationships, but for average, well-meaning marriages where miscommunication and unmet expectations erode intimacy. By inviting God into her mindset, Ann became a woman who spoke life, not just to her husband but to everyone around her. Dave affirms how this change brought vibrancy back into their home — and calls on women to reflect on their own “way of being” toward their husbands.
The episode ends with a passionate call to action: support the FamilyLife Today ministry so more marriages can be transformed through God's truth and grace.
Show Notes and Resources
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