I Want to Be With Someone Who's Tough When It Comes

The Learning Leader Show With Ryan Hawk

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Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com

Episode #375: Miranda Hawk - How To Cultivate A Loving Relationship. Miranda Hawk is an award winning sales professional, builder of teams, and sits on the board for multiple non-profit organization. Miranda is my wife, and together we are striving to raise our daughters to be kind, strong, hard-working, resilient leaders. Miranda is the former owner of the Dayton Mom Collective, a business that provides a positive voice for motherhood by connecting moms to resources and parenting perspectives unique to their communities. She has worked in the profession of selling since she was 14 and understands the determination and work ethic it takes to sustain excellence. **We recorded this conversation on our Anniversary.**

Notes:

• The symbolism of a wedding anniversary - The amount of time is not impressive. It's what you do during that time. The type of people you become. Not just that you've made it a certain number of years, but making those years count. The relationship has grown. The love for one another has grown. You’ve accomplished things together and on your own. And both people in the relationship and the world around are better because of the relationship.
• What was the initial attraction and how that has grown and/or changed over time? (Confidence (shoulders back), beauty, work ethic, your demonstration of excellence at your craft, toughness) --> the blending of a family. Challenges and the joy of it....
  • What is beauty? Is beauty a pretty face, a nice smile, flowing hair, nice skin? Not to me, it's not. To me beauty is living life to higher standards, stronger morals and ethics and believing in them, whether people tell you you're right or wrong. Beauty is not wasting a day. Beauty is noticing life's little intricacies and taking time out of your busy day to really enjoy those little intricacies. Beauty is being real, being genuine, being pure with no facade—what you see is what you get. Beauty is expanding your mind, always seeking knowledge, not being content, always going after something and challenging yourself." -- Jake Plummer (describing Pat Tillman)
• The pursuit - the importance of being in pursuit of one another -- Love is a verb. It's a constant action. It's a behavior towards one another.
  • Why "happy wife, happy life" is stupid -- In what other world is the focus on only making one person in the relationship happy? You wouldn't do that in a friendship. You wouldn't do that at work. Why would you do that in your marriage?
• Gratitude -- Saying the words. The power behind words. Being intentional about saying thank you. The importance of specificity.
• Learning Leader Circle question (Chris G) I'm always fascinated by how things start. As you have started the podcast, what did that look like for your family in starting the venture? Also the dynamic that you have as far as how much you are involved with each other’s careers? i.e. involved and talk about it daily, or primarily keep your conversations centered on the family and personal life.
• The importance of leading yourself first... It gives you the energy and drive to love others.
• Conflict resolution - It's critical to have open dialog about the mistakes made and how we rectify them... We strive to have a relationship where we can discuss disagreements, come to a resolution, and move forward.
• Health and wellness -- Why taking care of ourselves is so important. You're passionate about this and have made our family better because of it. "If you take care of your body, it will take care of you." 
  • "I'm striving to be the best version of myself."
• I'm attracted to discipline... And the ability to do what's hard
• Our WHO -- Becoming more intentional about dinner dates/friends/how we spend our time
• Advice for younger women -
  • Be proactive - Your job responsibilities are the minimum, do more than that
  • Develop a strong work ethic
  • Be positive -- Bring positive energy
• Learning Leader Circle question from Nick -- What are your key family anchors” for the week or month?  Example:  Sunday dinners, etc.- We invested in a nice area to gather outside on our back porch. Our family dinners together are what we love most... The exercise we do: Each person says something they love about every other person at the table. Get specific!
• “Your mate will either inspire you to grow into your greatness or they will confine you to complacency. They’ll either be your other half, or they’ll make you half of yourself.” - Nuri Muhammad
• “Business like life is all about how you make people feel. It’s that simple and it’s that hard.  —— Consciously think about how I make you feel.” - Danny Meyer
• “Ultimately the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation.” - Oscar Wilde
• Habits/Routines -- Differences and similarities
• The importance of long walks together...