Introduction

Welcome back to Ask Uncut, where we answer all of your deep, dark and sometimes deranged questions!

Laura has one of her own first up! If a kid at preschool had taught your kid swear words, would you dob on them?

Vibes for the week:

Keeshia: I Love Linen Mattress Topper

Laura: Koala Couch
& Baby Reindeer on Netflix

Then we jump into your questions:

• MY PARTNER CONSISTENTLY WETS THE BED WHEN HE DRINKS & HE WON’T STOP DRINKING
  My partner (M37) is a big drinker and also has an overactive bladder which leads him to wetting the bed basically every weekend when he drinks. I’ve expressed my discontent with this numerous times throughout our three year relationship and have tried to help by buying nappies, setting alarms during the night and trying to trick him into sleeping in other rooms. I’ve also pushed him to see a urologist where he now takes medication to urinate less throughout the day however as the bed wetting is primarily a problem from alcohol, he’s still frequently wetting himself. This impact also extends to when we go away with friends, for weddings, on holidays etc and he makes no effort to drink less and I’m left to monitor him throughout the night to make sure he gets up to pee and doesn’t wet the bed as we have no where else to sleep.

  I’m at my wit’s end and have even gone to see a relationship counsellor who basically said (long story short) that if I try to change the un-changeable then I’m going to drive myself crazy and I basically need to learn to live with it. My partner has an enormous victim mentality about this and his only emotional response is that “it’s not fair that his mates can drink as much as they want without this problem” and “why me, it’s not fair”. Am I being unreasonable in expecting him to drink less to stop this problem? If he was in his early 20s I’d give him time grow out of it, but at nearly 40, I’m heavily considering leaving the relationship because it’s so sad and unattractive, and I don’t want this for my future. Please tell me if I’m being too hard on him like he says that I am.
  
  

• IS IT OK TO WANK AT WORK?

  I randomly asked my husband when he last had a wank, to which he replied “uh, probably last week?” Me being a stay at home mum who is home…ALL THE TIME, then asked “was I home?” He so casually responded “oh no, nine times out of ten I’d have a wank at work.” Now, I’m NOT here to yuck someone’s yum, HOWEVER, this is NOT the first partner I’ve had to do this! My husband is a tradie, one was in real estate, another was in the medical area. My question is… is this normal? Why not do it at home? Is it a risk kink thing?
  
  

• HUSBAND NOT REACHING OUT WHILST AWAY

  My husband has gone to Darwin for a week for a friend's 40th (we live in NSW) which is fine. I encouraged him to go. I am at home with our 2 children, aged 2 and 4 months. I am feeling a little bit let down with how often he is checking in with me while he is away. I feel like I have been initiating all contact with him, sending messages with updates of the kids etc and he takes hours to respond if at all. He doesn’t bother to send good morning or goodnight messages or calls. And I can see that he has been active online. He is staying at his brother's house and I know for a fact they have just been sitting around drinking for the last few days. Am I being unreasonable thinking he should be checking in on us more? I have pulled back on how many times I initiate contact to see whether he would pick it up on his end, but he hasn’t. Should I bring it up with him or just let it go?
  
  

• WEARING A BRA TO WORK

  Do you always wear a bra to work? I haven’t a couple of times, I have small titties and wear normal neckline tops. I thought I could absolutely get away with it, but I did notice one of my male coworkers looking down and it made me feel a bit weird. I have a desk job and am worried it might not be very professional. Would love your thoughts!

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