Mindful Reflection on Grief and Connection

Welcome to episode 30 of The Way Out Is In: The Zen Art of Living, a podcast series mirroring Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh’s deep teachings of Buddhist philosophy: a simple yet profound methodology for dealing with our suffering, and for creating more happiness and joy in our lives. 

This installment is a continuation of episode 26, ‘Meditating on Death’. Here, the presenters, Zen Buddhist monk Brother Phap Huu and journalist Jo Confino, meditate on grief in light of Thay’s passing earlier this year, and on collective and personal traumas. 

The episode was recorded soon after Brother Phap Huu’s return from a six-week retreat tour of South America – part of the first global tour by Plum Village monastics after a two-year hiatus. 

Brother Phap Huu shares stories from the tour and his return to Upper Hamlet. And: what is it like to be back on the road (or path)? 

He further delves into the importance of being in the practice, and of sharing the practice by taking its teachings into the world; the significance of continuing Thay’s teaching tours; the power of reconnecting with the sangha through live retreats; the responsibility and joys of serving; keeping Buddhism relevant; the power of grief and the practice of recognizing sadness; how to be both part of the world and a spiritual person; the beauty of impermanence; and the safest place: the island of mindful breathing. 

Jo talks about grief ceremonies; facing old family traumas; healing through grieving; letting go; the energy of activism; sharing the practice of mindfulness with the world; seeing the beauty of the world beyond “bedraggled plants”; and community as essential support for the individual.

The episode ends with a short meditation – entwined with a poem by Thay – which is guided by Brother Phap Huu.

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Co-produced by the Plum Village App:
https://plumvillage.app/

And Global Optimism:
https://globaloptimism.com/ 

With support from the Thich Nhat Hanh Foundation:
https://thichnhathanhfoundation.org/

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List of resources

Plum Village Community
https://plumvillage.org/

Galápagos Islands
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gal%C3%A1pagos_Islands 

Plum Village on Tour
https://plumvillage.org/articles/plum-village-on-tour/ 

Christiana Figueres
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christiana_Figueres 

Bhikkhu
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bhikkhu 

Gross National Happiness
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gross_National_Happiness 

A Cloud Never Dies
https://plumvillage.org/a-cloud-never-dies/ 

The Way Out Is In: ‘The Three Doors of Liberation’
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqtSdQ8qCYU 

Vietnamese boat people
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vietnamese_boat_people 

The Other Shore
https://www.parallax.org/product/the-other-shore-a-new-translation-of-the-heart-sutra-with-commentaries/ 

Wake Up network (young adults)
https://plumvillage.org/community/wake-up-young-practitioners/

OI (Order of Interbeing)
https://plumvillage.uk/who-we-are/order-of-interbeing/

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Quotes

“You think that to give, you lose something – but, actually, to give you’re receiving more.”

“The importance is not just being the practice, but sharing the practice.” 

“The dharma, the practice, is deep and lovely.”

“We plough the fields of our mind, of our consciousness, and we identify the roots of our suffering, and we transform it, and through our transformation, we have ingredients to offer to the world: these practices. And this is what the Buddha did; this is what his sangha did.”

“Even though our loved ones may not still be here, through the eye of meditation, we can see them through the new form, by the way they have impacted us – and the experience that they have offered us is now them, in another form, through us.”

“Peace is every step.”

“Thay always said that once you’ve tasted the dharma, if you take care of the seed, it will become a root for you that you can always rely on. It’s like it’s your island, that you can always take refuge on. And sometimes we forget that we have that refuge, until we’re in a different setting.”

“The only way to keep Buddhism updated and the teaching relevant is to be connected to the suffering and happiness of society.” 

“No matter how much you stress about it, it’s not going to change the situation.”

“The safest place is the island of mindful breathing.”

“If we’re not able to touch our grief around the destruction we’re creating in the world, then we can’t save it – because it’s only by going into our grief, it’s only by going into the pain and the suffering, that we can touch the tenderness at our center.” 

“I went for a walk with Paz today, and we were passing this field of corn and I was looking down at the edge of the field next to where I was walking, and, normally, at the edge of the field, the plants are very small, they’re not fulsome. And they were looking quite bedraggled. And that fills my mind, saying, ‘Oh, look at these plants, they’re not doing very well.’ And then I lifted my eyes and I saw there was this huge field. And then I lifted my eyes and saw there was all this forest behind it. And then I lifted my eyes and saw there was this beautiful blue sky. And I realized that my whole concentration had been on the bedraggled plants. But actually, when I opened up my eyes to see the whole scene, there was extraordinary beauty. And also there were these plants that were suffering at the edge.” 

“I am neither the same, nor am I different.” 

“You never enter the same river twice.”