I've Had That Moment, Watch Your Whole Thing Up

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Jonathan Safran Foer: My mom's story, she grew up with very happy parents who loved her a good deal in a small community in the Midwest. She fell for a young guy at the part-time job; he's an older college student. He scares the bejubers out of her and really terrifies her. The next day, this man is arrested for the murders. And so the legal system never makes a pronouncement about whether he was involved or not. But my mother has reason to believe that he was. We can't know one of them until we've done the work to know ourselves, right? So I hadn't gone through the process that I went

So, what’s your biggest secret? And, what’s the cost you’ve been bearing for living, or trying to live, under its weight?

For many of us, it’s wrapped around our identity. There’s something about us we don’t want others to know. The idea of being your 100% authentic self, meaning no secrets, no masks, and no pretending, in front of your family, of all people, is something that sounds terrifying, if not impossible. But, what if the opposite were true? What if living behind the facade was actually the more brutalizing experience, one that sustains, possibly for years, decades, even life? In contrast to the momentary or even season of disruption incited by coming out as your true self, yet followed by a lifetime of liberation?

That’s where we’re headed in today’s conversation with Jessi Hempel, whose own revelation about her sexual identity, became the first in a chain of "coming out" events that touched every member of her family. Jessi is the host of the award-winning podcast Hello Monday, and she's a senior editor-at-large at LinkedIn. Jessi's striking upcoming memoir, The Family Outing, is a fascinating look into Jessi's seemingly picture-perfect American family, whose lives slowly start to unravel after a series of coming outs. In our chat, we uncover universal revelations, like seeing and realizing the humanity in your parents for the first time and the liberation that comes with claiming your whole truths—even in the face of uncertainty. Jessi opens up about the complexities of growing up with two parents struggling with emotional turmoil and learning to embrace her imperfect family as each of them shed their secrets and found, or rediscovered, their place in the world.

You can find Jessi at: LinkedIn | Hello Monday with Jessi Hempel podcast

If you LOVED this episode you’ll also love the conversations we had with Jake Wesley Rogers about bringing all parts of himself to work and life.

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