The Invisible Corn Market Collapses

The invisible corn market has collapsed. Futures are trading at less than one cent after scientists from the University of What It Is explained that it was never really real to begin with. Young people all across our city are calling for the formation of a new militia if Tamika has abdicated her responsibilities with the old one. And now a public service announcement from the Night Vale Medical community: Think about your colon first thing in the morning, thinking about that shape and texture you envision when you imagine it.