How to Talk to Your Partner When You're in CNI

When one partner is in CNI where all they can see are the flaws exaggerated in their partner. The only person that can help the one who's in CNI is the partner. What I'm trying to help couples do is understand that when I'm in CNI, I need help. If I'm unable to verbalize it, then maybe then it's, I really like this what we're doing because I've been trying to sort this out of my office and I can't do it.