Kabbalah is a mystery locked up in the language of Kabbalah. For me, for example, I feel like there's just a tongue that's going over my head and I need to study that in order to understand what the joke is in a way. You don't need to memorize all these correspondences and associations, you kind of can build up your own lexicon. Like this number means this to me through your own experience. And so I'm very lazy about all of this.