Do You Know When You Are Not Loving Your Wife?

How do you recognize in yourself when you perhaps at times have ceased to want the good of your wife for her sake or something like that? We don't really need this self consciousness to adequately love ourselves by nature. We want our own good. And so that can away move along with a kind of automatic character to us. But I need to be in a way attentive to those around me and my focus point of my life has to rest in them if I'm not to become self conscious, self centered.