3 Low-Value Behaviors That Quietly Kill Your Respect | Social Intelligence Brief
The Art of Charm
The Dangers of Excessive Competition in Relationships
This chapter discusses the negative impacts of extreme competition in social interactions, including alienation and strained relationships. It illustrates the benefits of a more cooperative approach through a client’s transformation from competitive storytelling to fostering genuine connections.
Ever wonder why people don’t take you seriously—even when you’re smart and hardworking? In this episode, AJ and Johnny reveal the three most common low value signals that quietly repel respect: being supplicative (begging for approval), combative (using force or intimidation), and competitive (constantly one-upping). Backed by research from UCLA, Harvard, and game theory, they explain how these blind spots sabotage influence and connection—and how to flip them into high value behaviors that attract trust, respect, and opportunity.
You’ll learn why excessive apologizing, fake “alpha” dominance, and relentless bragging send the wrong message, and how small shifts—like standing tall, reframing with “we” language, and spotlighting others—instantly change how people respond to you. If you’ve ever felt overlooked, underestimated, or like your hard work isn’t respected, this episode shows you how to break free from low value patterns and project real confidence.
What to Listen For
[00:00:00] Why people don’t take you seriously: the hidden impact of low value signals
[00:01:02] Supplicative behaviors—apologizing, shrinking, and begging for approval
[00:02:36] The “nice guy” conundrum: why being accommodating makes you forgettable
[00:03:25] Combative behaviors—dominance, intimidation, and fake alpha posturing
[00:03:48] Why real strength is presence, not shouting
[00:04:14] Competitive behaviors—one-upping, bragging, and name-dropping
[00:05:31] Why constant competition makes you high-maintenance
[00:06:03] High achievers’ blind spot: mistaking resumes for personality
[00:06:24] Client story: Jim’s sales calls flipped once he stopped proving himself
[00:07:21] The three low value signals summed up—and the high value alternative
[00:07:46] Weekly challenge: audit your signals and flip them into high value behaviors
[00:08:11] Take the free Influence Index quiz to discover your influence score
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