Imagined Media Roles for Maduro and Weiss

SEASON 4 EPISODE 55: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN

A-Block (2:30) SPECIAL COMMENT: So would you like to collapse the Trump Regime? Today? Peacefully? Legally? 

You - the White House press corps. It only takes one of you.

You go into the next Oval Office Scrum, and you ask him politely for his explanation of something released by his administration, by Pam Bondi’s office, on the government website, and you read – quoting this FBI 302 interview file: “Maxwell presented (her) to Trump…by the things Maxwell said, it was clear that (she) was available…”And don’t stop reading and don’t make eye contact. THEN from the sworn affidavit, reed, quote: “I personally witnessed Defendant Trump telling the plaintiff that she couldn’t ever say anything, if she didn’t want to disappear like the 12-year old female (redacted) and that he was capable of having her whole family killed…” Quote: “the physical and sexual abuse that I personally witnessed of minor females at the hands of Mr. Trump and Mr. Epstein... under penalty of perjury even though I fully understand that the life of myself and my family is now in grave danger” unquote, what SIR is your explanation SIR about when you threatened this girl’s life, sir.

Just keep asking. Don't make eye contact, don't stop, don't stop talking when he starts talking. Just reel off those quotes. And the one about becoming fertilizer. And the "Calendar Girls" story (as nonsensical as that probably is). And all the others. Because we don't always see the escape hatch when it appears before us, and it just appeared.

Because the Epstein Files are part of an official Department of Justice Document Dump. Their contents are Pam Bondi's problem, not you or your lawyer's. And if you don't bear down and do this job as it was designed by the Founding Fathers, you will sooner or later face one of these outcomes: you'll be arrested, you'll be replaced by some automaton Bari Weiss likes, or the country will survive and the next people running media will never consider you for work because you were cowardly when we needed your courage.

Oh and you can peacefully, legally end the careers of Elon Musk and Marco Rubio and Bari Weiss and lots of others. The material is all in front of you. Just have the courage to pick it up and fling it, like he'd fling his poo at you.

ALSO: Don Lemon was arrested not because Jesus but because Trump has always hated him. And if you've forgotten, I explained two weeks ago why Trump was trying to restart the 2020 crap, now sending Tulsi Gabbard to Georgia. They're sitting up not a claim that the election was fixed, but that the election was fixed by another country (hey, Nicolas Maduro, you mind taking the rap, in exchange for a pardon?) and there is no statute of limitations on THAT.

B-Block (34:55) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Harriet Hageman, the blob they elected to the House from Wyoming to replace Liz Cheney, is now running for Senate. Emphasize "running": she has fled a town hill. The Bill Maher Pretzel Logic: Celebrities should shut up, voters don't listen to TV and movie stars. But Bill, you expect them to listen to you. So you're saying you're not a star? And the latest Bari Weiss firing target is supposedly Face The Nation host Margaret Brennan and one of the names being thrown around (probably nonsensically) is Matt Lauer.

C-Block (54:00) MONDAYS WITH THURBER: We need a doubleheader. I heard an audio book with a famous actor doing Thurber's tribute to what would be called Dunning-Kruger Syndrome: "The Macbeth Murder Mystery" and it was one of those rare times when I actually said "No - I did this better." So I bring it to you, and as a bonus, a second great unheralded Thurber story: "Meet Birdey Doggett." Enjoy them at your leisure.

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