Five minute forty challenge

John Murray, Ian Dennis & Ali Bruce-Ball talk football, travel & language. They share their experiences of Macclesfield’s FA Cup triumph and have their say on the Michael Carrick & Liam Rosenior appointments. John is getting ready for his trip to the Arctic. There’s Clash of the Commentators controversy, more unintended pub names, and which commentary phrases will end up in our Great Glossary? Suggestions welcome on WhatsApp voicenotes to 08000 289 369 & emails to TCV@bbc.co.uk

01:40 Macclesfield sprinkle the magic 09:40 Thoughts on Michael Carrick & Liam Rosenior 15:15 5 Live commentaries this weekend 18:05 John prepares for the Arctic! 21:40 Unintended pub names & railway stations 27:25 Clash of the Commentators 35:10 Great Glossary of Football Commentary 42:00 John’s FA Cup error!

5 Live / BBC Sounds commentaries: Sat 1500 Tottenham v West Ham, Sat 1500 Chelsea v Brentford on Sports Extra, Sat 1730 Nottingham Forest v Arsenal, Sun 1400 Wolves v Newcastle, Sun 1630 Aston Villa v Everton, Tue 1745 Bodø/Glimt v Man City, Tue 2000 Tottenham v Borussia Dortmund, Wed 2000 Newcastle v PSV, Wed 2000 Marseille v Liverpool on Sports Extra.

Great Glossary of Football Commentary: DIVISION ONE Back to square one, Bosman, Cruyff Turn, Cultured/educated left foot, Dead-ball specialist, Draught excluder, Elastico/flip-flap Fox in the box, Giving the goalkeeper the eyes, Head tennis, Hibs it, In a good moment, In behind, Magic of the FA Cup, The Maradona, Off their line, Olimpico, Onion bag, Panenka, Park the bus, Perfect hat-trick, Rabona, Roy of the Rovers stuff, Schmeichel-style, Scorpion kick, Spursy, Tiki-taka, Trivela, Where the kookaburra sleeps, Where the owl sleeps, Where the spiders sleep.

DIVISION TWO Back on the grass, Ball stays hit, Beaten all ends up, Blaze over the bar, Business end, Came down with snow on it, Catching practice, Camped in the opposition half, Cauldron atmosphere Coat is on a shoogly peg, Come back to haunt them, Corridor of uncertainty, Couldn’t sort their feet out, Easy tap-in, Daisy-cutter, First cab off the rank, Giant-killing, Good leave, Half-turn, Has that in his locker, High wide and not very handsome, Hospital pass, Howler, In their pocket, Johnny on the spot, Leading the line, Nice headache to have, Nutmeg, One for the cameras, One for the purists, Played us off the park, Points to the spot, Prawn sandwich brigade, Purple patch, Put their laces through it, Reaches for their pocket, Rolls Royce, Root and branch review, Row Z, Screamer, Seats on the plane, Show across the bows, Slide-rule pass, Steal a march, Straight in the bread basket, Stramash, Taking one for the team, Telegraphed that pass, That’s great… (football), Thunderous strike, Turns on a sixpence, Walk it in, We’ve got a cup tie on our hands.

UNSORTED 2-0 is a dangerous score, After you Claude, All-Premier League affair, Aplomb, Bag/box of tricks, Brace, Brandished, Bread and butter, Breaking the deadlock, Bundled over the line, Champions elect / champions apparent, Clinical finish, Commentator’s curse, Coupon buster, Denied by the woodwork, Draught excluder, Elimination line, Fellow countryman, Foot race, Formerly of this parish, Free hit, Goalkeepers’ Union, Goalmouth scramble, Good touch for a big man, Honeymoon Period, In and around, In the shop window, Keeping ball under their spell, Keystone Cops defending, Languishing, Loitering with intent, Marching orders, Nestle in the bottom corner, Numbered derbies, Opposite number, PK for penalty-kick, Postage stamp, Put it in the mixer, Rasping shot, Red wine not white wine, Relegation six-pointer, Rooted at the bottom, Route One, Sending the goalkeeper the wrong way, Shooting boots, Sleeping giants, Slide rule pass, Small matter of, Spiders web, Stayed hit, Steepling, Stinging the palms, Stonewall penalty, Straight off the training ground, Taking one for the team, Team that likes to play football, Throw their cap on it, Thruppenny bit head / 50p head, Towering header, Two good feet, Turning into a basketball match, Turning into a cricket score, Usher/Shepherd the ball out of play, Walking a disciplinary tightrope, Wand of a left foot, Wrap foot around it, Your De Bruynes, your Gundogans etc.