By the time they each turned about 13 or 12, my kids were scientifically literate. They are inoculated against any future Charlton who might try to exploit the laws of physics to their loss. I actually figured out why the hot white girls on Instagram love astrology: It's because things go their way so often that on the rare occasion they don't, they've decided to blame outer space. Yeah, they get to walk into a bar like, oh, I get it. Okay.

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