How to Wipe Your Butt With a Rock

If you have to poop in the forest, walk down toward the river and find yourself a beautiful clean stone. You should know that the leaf that you are going to wipe with isn't a poison leaf like poison ivy or poison sumac. The rock is sturdy. And if you have three or four of them, you know, you do one wipe with the first one, throw it back in the river, then you got to clean one for number two.

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