And so are we going to wake up and say, hey, with this day, with this moment, with this year, with my life, with this chance, because I believe that I'm here for a reason, that I have purpose, that I can make a difference, that I love what I'm doing, that I'm passionate, which passion ultimately also just means, passion is a 12th century Latin word that means to suffer. And where did the word even comes from is from the passion of the Christ that Jesus cared so much for humanity that he's willing to go to the cross to suffer for them. So when we say we're passionate about something, it's not excitement, motivation, or hype. It means that we care so much about something we're willing to suffer for. So when we say, hey, we love something, we're passionate, know what we're talking about. That means we're going to sacrifice. And so do you love it? Are you passionate about it? Right? Do you want to make the most of your life, of your time? We don't know how much time we're going to have, but man, when we have it, let's run after the things we love and we're called to. I want to finish my life saying, you know what? I know I messed up so many times, but man, with the race that was set before me, I ran. And one day when I get to heaven, I don't want to get to heaven well rested. I want to get

to heaven exhausted. How the heck are you doing this? You're like exceeding what I thought you would possibly do today. People are like level 26 on the treadmill right now. I'm ready to run through the daggum wall. And I'm dead serious right now. Fired up about today. Producer calls me about six months ago and goes, hey, Jewel wants to come on your show. And I'm like, yes, immediately. Yes. But I had no idea what we were going to talk about. It was just, it was Jewel. We got a legend to come on my show. I'm like, absolutely. Yes. And then I started to prepare for the podcast and they're like, Oh, she's a mental health advocate. I'm like, Oh, that's nice. A celebrity who's a mental health advocate. There's a few of those. And then I started to dig into her work and then I went, Whoa. And then I fell in love with her work. And I've been in this loop for off and on for about six months learning from her because she's not just a mental health advocate. She's a strategist. And she's somebody who has lived through this in a way that makes her authentic in the tools that she teaches and her experience in her life. Obviously, you all know her, multi-Grammy nominated artist, my favorite voice of all time, and somebody whose music I've listened to for about 20 years. But we're not going to talk that much about music today. We're going to talk about making your life better. So, Jewel, welcome to the show. Thank you for being here.

Thanks. I really appreciate it. So

good to have you. You guys, this is an all-timer. Did you think you're going to hear someone's nominated for a bunch of Grammys? We're going this deep on something like this is an all freaking timer. I think it's incredible that an 18 year old young woman with really no upbringing has the vision, the intuition to even begin to stop and study like her hands for two weeks. That's mind blowing to me. Educate us a little bit on this idea that you've noticed this and that I think you believe you can't be in two states at once, right? I

was 18. I was homeless. I wouldn't have sex with a boss. He wouldn't give me my paycheck and I couldn't pay my rent. Started living in my car. My car got stolen. I ended up homeless. I was having panic attacks. I was agoraphobic and I was shoplifting a lot. Your hands are the servants of your thought. Maybe if I can watch what my hands are doing, it'll tell me what I'm thinking. So I'm going to write down everything I do for two weeks. At the end of two weeks, I sat down to look at like my data, trying to figure out what I was thinking. And it dawned on me I hadn't had a panic attack in two weeks. What I stumbled on was being present. I stumbled on mindfulness, following my hands around, forced me to be so present all day long that I couldn't worry about a future that wasn't happening yet and freak myself out into a panic attack. I hated writing when I wanted to steal. I loved writing. I'd written my whole life. Why did I hate writing then? I shut my eyes and I thought about shoplifting. I get very excited. My mind gets very sharp. Like I get excited and it's intense. I think about writing. My body immediately leans back. My voice drops. I get slower. My mind softens. My whole countenance changes. That was so interesting to me. So I wrote down relaxed and excited. And that was like my first way of trying to relate to these two physiological states. I kept a journal of three things, thinking, feeling, doing. Every time I was excited, I wrote down thinking, feeling, doing. Then as I began to refine these words, I changed it to dilated, relaxed, open, dilated, contracted, excited, anxious, worried. And also it doesn't matter if it's a thought that triggers your contracted state or if it's a feeling or if it's an action, it doesn't matter. It starts a cascade and it's neurochemical and you get this intense response in your body. So the first time I got this to work for me in a really profound way was when I felt a panic attack coming on. I looked at my list on my dilated. I saw that one of the emotions that worked for me was gratitude. And I was able to substitute. I was able to force myself to do something on my dilated list that elicited a physiological response in my body that caused me not to have a panic attack. And that was exciting because I really knew I was onto something that was going to change my life forever.

I've heard you talk about this, that at some point you wanted to learn to nurture whatever you thought your nature was. And that at the same time, you said this thing about you really can't be in two states at once. I

had a bunny named Caramel on the ranch I was raised on. And this rabbit was raised with chickens and it pecked at its food and it waddled, which is adorable until you move out at 15 and you go, what if I'm a bunny that thinks it's a chicken? Will I ever know my nature if my nurture was so f***ed up? And orange's peel is its response to its environment to protect its fruit, right? What if my psyche was a response to protect myself from my environment and it had nothing to do with what was the fruit? I spent all of my time on this outward exterior when what actually really mattered was what was I inside of here? I just had to develop a relationship with it. And I had to develop strategies of getting to know my nature. Writing was one way, being quiet was another way, and then ultimately other strategies. I don't like affirmative thinking. It just never worked for me because it felt like lying. I tried it. I looked in the mirror. I said, I know what I'm doing. And my body went, you're lying. That's right. Your neurology completely contradicts. Because my physiological state, it didn't change. Exactly. Yes. So it was baloney. Correct. So I had to find what I call an antidote thought. The sentence I ended up finding that worked was I won't quit till I learn. To this day, it makes me tear up. It is so true about me. And literally it's sometimes just clinging to saying the sentence over and over so that your body can relax, get your body into a different state. Now you're not going to have a knee-jerk response, right? A neurological knee-jerk response that is your nurture. You're going to be able to have a thoughtful, formed response that's in alignment with your nature. The pattern

and the tools that Jewel just presented just there could be the trigger for you to become in a very resourceful, successful peak state as opposed to an unresourceful, lazy, unproductive state. It may not be sad or happy or anxiety or fear versus power. It may be just success. Someone listening to this or watching this right now that says, my spouse did this to me, or my friend did this to me, or I was raised a particular way. It felt like it wasn't all just my choosing, but that some things happened to me. What are some of those tools that you would suggest to somebody who's feeling those feelings?

In the game of healing, in the job of healing, nobody cares about fault. It's either you learn to heal or you don't. You learn to make a healthier, more nourishing choice now that you know better. Once you know, what are you going to do? Will you accept the responsibility of it? Learning for me to know the difference between a reason and an excuse. I had a lot of reasons why I couldn't be happy. But when I stopped accepting excuses for why I couldn't be now, my life changed. I think healing is a gritty, gritty job. It's you looking in the mirror and going, what do I got? No one's coming for me. I'm coming for me. What am I willing to do? What am I willing to do different today than I did yesterday? Will I take notes on it? Will I see if it worked? If it doesn't, will I try something new tomorrow?

I still don't think I've produced the amount of bliss and happiness in my life that I'm worthy of, that I should have more. Do you relate to that at all?

Happiness is a side effect of choices. And often we don't know what's prompting our choices. And why are we being driven to choices that lead to the side effect of dissatisfaction, you know, unfulfilling relationships, unfulfilling friendships, things that don't nourish us, things that deplete us. I had to really come to terms with, it was me doing this to myself. I kept choosing abusive people. I kept choosing people that took from me. I kept choosing to give more than I should give. It was me behind the wheel of my body. What was I doing? What was driving me to these results that led to unhappiness? And could I choose differently? Developing a lot of those tools and strategies for myself started helping me make better choices. I've

been talking to this man about having him on the show here for, I don't know, like six or eight months. And you would think, well, you want to have him on because he's this, you know, Grammy nominated artist that everybody knows.