I think the biggest problem is that when there isn't an agreement on the dynamics in your relationship you'll often see that one person might want it to grow and be more. I think also it can leave you feeling incredibly insecure and deficient as an individual if you are willing to give this person so much of your life, of your time, energy, of your money and of your love but they just don't see you that way. It's really not worth it that constant cycle of needing to gain approval from the other person is not a healthy dynamic at all. At the end of the day you want people that you can rely on you wouldn't choose friends who are inconsistent or even your family