Why Some Tasks Feel Impossible for Autistic & ADHD Kids: Visual-Spatial Skills, Executive Functioning, and the Cost of Shame
THE AUTISM ADHD PODCAST
Shame is not a strategy
Holly emphasizes that repeated punishment and shame won't change neurologically driven differences in executive functioning.
Why does your autistic or ADHD child struggle with things that seem easy for everyone else?
Maybe they can't keep their room organized. Maybe they lose things constantly. Maybe they seem overwhelmed by tasks that other children complete without much effort.
And maybe you've wondered...
"Are they just not trying?"
In this episode, I share a personal story that completely changed the way I think about strengths, executive functioning, and why some tasks feel impossible for certain brains.
When I opened the door to a cluttered closet at my clinic, I felt immediate overwhelm, shame, and paralysis. The teenager I hired to organize it had the exact opposite reaction—excitement, energy, and endless ideas.
Same closet. Different brains. Different strengths.
Using my own experiences as an autistic and ADHD psychologist, I discuss how visual-spatial differences and executive functioning challenges can impact organization, problem-solving, learning, navigation, daily living skills, and self-confidence.
We also explore why shame doesn't help autistic and ADHD children develop skills, and how repeatedly being told they're lazy, or not trying hard enough, can have lasting effects on their mental health and self-esteem.
In this episode, you'll learn:
• Why some autistic and ADHD children struggle with organization, planning and cleaning their rooms
• How executive functioning and visual-spatial abilities affect daily life
• Why shame is not a strategy
• How to identify and build on strengths
• Ways parents, educators, and therapists can provide support without damaging mental health
• Why different doesn't mean broken
If you're a parent, educator, or therapist supporting autistic and ADHD children and teens, this episode will help you better understand what's really happening beneath the struggle—and how to respond with compassion, understanding, and practical support.
Sincerely,
Holly Blanc Moses, The Mom/Neurodivergent Therapist
Check out these resources!
The 135 School Accommodations for Autistic & ADHD Students Guide is now available, including three detailed cases with accommodations for ONLY $27.95
What's Inside:
📚 Academic Supports (45 accommodations) From pre-teaching strategies to assistive technology, the tools students need to access the curriculum without barriers
🎨 Sensory & Environmental Supports (22 accommodations) Create a learning environment where your child can focus, regulate, and engage—not just survive
🧠 Executive Functioning & Self-Advocacy (24 accommodations) Build the skills that will serve them for life—organization, time management, and speaking up for their needs
🤝 Social Supports (21 accommodations) Turn recess and group work from nightmare to opportunity with structured, supportive approaches
💚 Mental Health & Emotional Regulation (23 accommodations) Because learning can't happen when a child is overwhelmed, anxious, or in crisis
🌟 3 Detailed Student Examples With Individualized Accommodations
Plus: ✅ An example of each accommodation
✅ Tips on how to identify areas of need
✅ Free helpful education resources
Don't miss this opportunity to access 135 neurodiversity-affirming accommodations for only $27.95
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About Holly Blanc Moses: Holly Blanc Moses is an AuDHD psychologist with 28 years of experience. She is a speaker, consultant, continuing education provider, and host of The Autism ADHD Podcast, Autism ADHD TV, and parent masterclasses.
About The Podcast
The Autism ADHD Podcast is for parents and professionals who want a neurodiversity-affirming approach to supporting autistic and ADHD children and teens — with a focus on emotional regulation, executive functioning, mental health, and connection.
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