Why You Resisted Writing About What Happened to Your Brother?

I didn't want to write about what happened to my brother, but eventually i just sort of succumbed. And then that became writing bat him. Became my first book, the last act of love. I worried about how i would represent the real people involved on the page. So it was kind of like a caldron of those things. Do i really want to spend all this time doing something that never ends up going anywhere? It's not that i'm trying to say the barbed war doesn't exist, but it's more like, let's just set of anywhere and see what happens.