I think the big liberation here is to see that it isn't really a choice between closing down options and keeping options open because actually we're always closing down options. I think on balance is an easier thing to do than sort of radically changing your life so one of the things I write about in the in the book based on my own past experience as well as sort of commitment phobia that that idea in relationships but certainly another thing is that you're not really deciding yet if you just sort of hang back and wait to commit.

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