When insecurity takes over, most of us double down on self-improvement. But what if freedom doesn’t come from focusing more on yourself - but less?

In this powerful conversation, Dr. Alison and author of Free of Me and Gazing at God, Sharon Hodde Miller, discuss the promises and pitfalls of self-esteem culture - and why a bigger story of belovedness, stewardship, and connection sets us free. We talk about how self-preoccupation doesn’t improve self-esteem, why “just love yourself more” can reinforce the problem, and how beholding God (not abandoning yourself) recenters your life with humility and purpose.

In this episode, we cover:

Why self-focus can erode your confidence and joy
The difference between self-esteem and self-preoccupation
What it means to de-center yourself without losing your worth
How wounds can masquerade as pride or insecurity
The freedom that comes from remembering: you are not the hero of the story

Get your hands on a copy of Sharon's books! You can find them here:

📚Free of Me: Why Life Is Better When It's Not about You

📚Gazing at God: A 40-Day Journey to Greater Freedom from Self

Here are some other episodes you might like :

Episode 99: I Shouldn’t Feel Like My Spirit is Broken

Episode 67: The Inextricable Link Between Faith & Emotional Healing with Cindy Gao

📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here

💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode.

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While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍

© 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author.

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