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The "Living with Heart" Podcast is brought to you by Chip Dodd Resources (www.chipdodd.com) and The Voice of the Heart Center (vothcenter.com). You can connect with Dr. Chip Dodd at chip@chipdodd.com. Contact Bryan Barley for coaching at bryan@vothcenter.com.
The 5 Pitfalls are descending steps. One step connects to another with predictable effects.
Some leaders have referred to the descent as a “chain reaction.”
The Five Pitfalls:
- Work becomes confused with one’s worth.
- Performance begins to be valued more than one’s presence.
- People become things.
- To be an example to others, the true self is isolated.
- Secrets sap one’s passion and purpose.
These pitfalls can destroy careers, friendships, reputations, marriages and families—unless one finds freedom from them.
People Become Things
Leaders enter the world of doing good because they wish the pain of the world to be treated, bettered, or healed.
However, as the leader slips into the pitfalls:
- the people that the leader wishes to serve become burdensome objects that have to be dealt with
- the people that the leader works with become objects that have to be manipulated
- his/her family members become burdensome objects of needs that have to be met
- the leader who originally planned to benefit others reaches a significant crisis point
- they must move into neediness as human beings or fade into despair as “human doings.”
The leader whose worth is trapped in work, and whose performance is valued more than their presence shows symptoms of people becoming things
They experience “feeling drained” of the passion or energy that had compelled them in the beginning.
Whether slowly or rapidly, the leader becomes restless, irritable, and discontent.
Indicators of restlessness and irritable can be overt or covert, but the symptoms are “known” to the leader, but not accurately taken responsibility for.
Compulsivity takes over for “being compelled.”
Blame, projection onto others, and denial are hallmarks of the impaired leader at Pitfall #3.
*The family is usually affected first and foremost, before the signs are noted by others who the leader influences.
In the name of loyalty the family members begin to take on feelings of “self-blame” and toxic shame that comes with the leader’s self-negligence.
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