Rethinking Secondhand Gifts and Societal Expectations

Hey Lifers!

Welcome back to ask uncut where we answer your deep and burning questions!

We’re all sad that the post office has said that they will stop selling knick-knacks! We’re already mourning the novelty and surprise of what might be available today!

Vibes:
Britt - Punter’s Politics 

Laura -Feel Better, Live More Podcast - How To Future-Proof Your Brain: with Dr Daniel Amen

Keeshia - Nonnas on Netflix 

Then we jump into your questions!

TO WHAT EXTENT ARE WEDDING JITTERS NORMAL?
Since getting engaged 7 months ago I have dreamt multiple times a week about an ex “situationship” from about 10 years ago! My fiancé and I have been together for over 6 years and lived together for 5 so getting married shouldn’t really feel that different. I love my fiancé and it hurts my heart to think of not being with him, but I also feel a little bit of a pit in my stomach when I think of the wedding which is in August. Is this just wedding nerves? I feel like I may have some commitment issues as I’ve never had a long relationship before this one. I also don’t love being the centre of attention so could this be contributing? Is this just a normal reaction before such a big commitment? I guess that’s why they joke about people getting cold feet before a wedding but I never thought that was real. Would love your opinions please x

BF DOESN’T WANT TO GO DOWN ON ME BECAUSE OF OCD
Hi guys! I have a dilemma. I love when my partner goes down on me butttt because I am so comfortable with him I fart, poop, and pull out tampons in front of him. He has pretty much seen it all. We have been together for 4 years. He has diagnosed OCD, especially around cleanliness and because he has seen what he has seen, he doesn’t like to go down on me, even when I’ve suggested doing it as soon as we have had a shower. Is this something you think we can work on or do I have to find alternatives (toys)? Please give me your best advice.

PARTNER SPENT 6K ON ROBLOX - HELP
My partner and I’ve been together 3 years and I love him more than anyone. When we first started dating he had a slight pokies issue and was completely transparent with it. Together we worked that habit out and he stopped gambling on pokies; he played poker once a week and has been fine. However, last night I went into his phone when he was asleep to see where he’s been spending money after he made a comment about being tight for money. I looked and there were 3 Roblox transactions for over $100 each from the weekend. So, today I logged into his account and went through all the transactions. I’ve worked out that since January he has spent over $6k on this stupid game, and he’s been lying about it. He said he didn’t get paid enough this week to get his savings out etc but in reality, he has been spending it on Roblox. I need advice because this is so fucking childish. I do realise it’s a deeper problem than playing games, it’s an addiction and I want to help him but how do I confront him about it? I just want what’s best for him. For context: we don’t share a bank account for these reasons. I am money savvy and a good saver and he is the absolute opposite.

OPINION ON MARKETPLACE GIFTS?
Can you buy someone something from Marketplace secondhand because that way you can actually afford it and you know that they’ll love it? Or can you give someone something that you have owned? For context, it’s my niece's 1st birthday coming up where we would normally spend $100–$150 on the gift. We were about to sell something that is hardly used by our 2 year old. The RRP is $260 but they sell for $200 on Marketplace. Can you do that? Or is that super tight? Then if you can do it, do you tell them it’s secondhand or just palm it off as bought?

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