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6min chapter
Pancakes vs. Waffles
Smash Boom Best: A funny, smart debate show for kids and family
Waffles Invented Pockets
Pancakes have secretly invented and deployed a special type of nanobots that cast holographic projections over pancakes to make them look like other breakfast foods. Waffles want to drain all joy from breakfast because they're jealous of pancakes. But pancakes are not going to back down. They pretend to be other foods, so waffles will just leave them alone. Even unsuspecting people like you get to eat pancakes every single day and feel joyful. How do we support pancakes on this quest to save us from bad breakfast food? All we can do is salute the pancake from afar and spread the gospel of the greatness of the pancake.
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Episode notes
Speaker 3
Why are you hiding in my azaleas? How long have you shh-shh-shh-shh. That doesn't matter. Want to know a
Speaker 7
secret? Uh, you're getting really close to my
Speaker 3
face. Waffles invented
Speaker 7
pockets. Waffles invented pockets? I thought Polly Pocket invented pockets. Completely understandable,
Speaker 3
but no. Waffles invented pockets. Besides being the best breakfast food out there, they're behind every pocket ever made. And makes total sense, because after all, they're like the cargo pants of foods. Cool, stylish, useful,
Speaker 7
endlessly useful. Cargo pants are cool. Uh, yeah. Asendaya. I do trustendaya. She's a national treasure. But you're saying that waffles are responsible for pockets?
Speaker 3
Now you're getting it. Waffles are the great equalizer, making sure everyone, no matter their size, age or gender, has excellent, deep pockets. Any pocket you could possibly think of. All waffle made it happen, including your jeans.
Speaker 7
I do like these pockets. They're actually big enough to fit my phone. Because for so long, it seemed like pockets were barely big enough for a tic-tac, or worse. They were fake. I know. Thank goodness for waffles, right? So waffles invented every pocket, even the awesome hidden ones inside your jacket? Yeah.
Speaker 3
The cute front pocket on overalls? Correct. Pocket doors, pita pockets, kangaroo pouches, all the work of a
Speaker 7
waffle. Wow. I think waffles can get any more
Speaker 3
impressive. Waffles, the humanitarians of the millennium, and the last millennium of all
Speaker 2
time. Wow.
Speaker 1
Thank you, waffles. I love pockets. Marcel, now it's your turn to talk about the hidden plot of pancakes. Not even
Speaker 7
going to lie, bro. This oatmeal is fire. Why are they so much better than I remember?
Speaker 2
Man, that's not oatmeal.
Speaker 7
Those are pancakes. What are you talking about?
Speaker 2
All right, listen. I'm going to let you in on a little secret. See, for the past few years, pancakes have secretly invented and deployed a special type of nanobots that cast holographic projections over pancakes to make them look like other breakfast foods. So when you ate that oatmeal this
Speaker 5
morning, you
Speaker 2
weren't really eating oatmeal anymore. It was actually pancakes in disguise. What?
Speaker 7
That's ridiculous. Pancakes do such a thing. And how can they create enough nanobots to cover the whole
Speaker 2
world? They're self-replicating nanobots, Q. And it's because the pancake has been under attack by the evil waffle. Waffles want to drain all joy from breakfast because they're jealous of pancakes. But pancakes are not going to back down. They're doing good for humanity. They pretend to be other foods, so waffles will just leave them alone. Even unsuspecting people like you get to eat pancakes every single day and feel joyful. Pancakes are pure, edible happiness. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 7
How do we support pancakes on this quest to save us from bad breakfast food? You can't.
Speaker 2
All we can do is salute the pancake from afar and spread the gospel of the greatness of the pancake. Okay.
Speaker 1
All right, Elise, what's it out to you about those two microphones?
Speaker 2
Oh, there's so much to say. I mean, that was very, very interesting.
Speaker 4
The pockets
Speaker 2
for the waffles, I mean, that is very impressive. I mean, I have to say that I do love some pockets on my jeans and on my clothes. So that was really fun. And with pancakes,
Speaker 1
that is
Speaker 2
really, really cool. The nanobots, I mean, that's just in another universe. High tech. High tech. That feels unreal.
Speaker 4
So
Speaker 2
I, it's going to be a close one. All
Speaker 1
right. Well, it's time to award a point. The criteria is totally up to you. Did someone make you laugh? Did someone make you think? Did someone convince you that their conspiracy was true? Award a point, but don't tell us who it's going to have. You made your decision. I have. Fantastic. And it's time for our third round, the
Speaker 8
super stealthy
Speaker 3
sneak attack.
Speaker 1
Your sneak attack is called slow motion rap battle. Marcel and Nora, it's your job to make three rhyming couplets about why your side is awesome. We'll go back and forth between the two of you, but here's the catch. Each time you start a new couplet. The first word of your couplet has to rhyme with the other person's last word. So for example, if I was in a fire versus ice debate in my goal like this, fire, fire, it lights up the night, gather round the fire bright. And then ice would go, fight the cold, burr, it's here. Ice is cold and it's sort of clear. And fire would go, dear fire, I love you. And it's really et cetera, et cetera. All right. So Nora went first. Last time so Marcel, you get to start. Please start with your first couplet for
Speaker 2
pancakes. Pancakes are fire, the food of desire. Delicious heavenly made to inspire. Nice.
Speaker 4
Okay.
Speaker 3
I'm sorry.
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highlights
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