2min chapter

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Men's Work Session - Recovering And Healing Old Grief, Part Two

ManTalks Podcast

CHAPTER

Struggling with Connection and Avoiding Vulnerability

The speaker reflects on their attempt to form a deep connection with someone and shares their disappointment when the other person avoids vulnerability. They discuss their internal conflict between protecting themselves and desiring more connection.

00:00
Speaker 2
OK, so what happens? Maybe just one or two more questions and then I'll put something out to you. But what happens when you do try and connect deeply with him? You mentioned he sort of gets a little, you know, jokey and humor and that kind of stuff. What happens for you? What happens internally for you?
Speaker 1
Mike, gut initial reaction is the typical me, which is that I pull away. I don't push any further. I don't try hard because I see it's not going anywhere. So I'm like, I'm big. I'm like, if it's not there, I'm not going to waste my time. You know, I'm out. You know, and it's not that abrupt, but an example of that was just a couple of days ago. He had an audition for a big wall. So I had to drive him to an acting coach. This is an hour away. We had a bunch of, we had two hours before that. So we go to dinner and it was like 4.30. It was early. We had a lot of time. Life wanted us to do some math. So we did some math. But before that, you know, we're in a booth. There's like nobody in the restroom. I sat on the side with him. I held his hand. You know, I said, you know, so how are you doing? How tell me, you know, how is it? It seems like the new school is working out. And you know, and you know, it just, it, I just never find that right ability to, you know, that right ability to hug or hold or not or, you know, and so. So I'm thinking of that as a mic and it wasn't like he pushed me away, but it also wasn't like he revealed like he's like, yeah, it's all well. Like, you know, and it's just, it's just. I'm unfulfilling because I want more. I think he wants more, but I'm not sure. I'm just walking on eggshells. I don't want to push him because I think it's going to push in the way, but I don't want to be. So my, my gut reaction is, is to just like hold myself away to almost protect myself because there's nothing there or he's, he can't go there. So okay, I'll just be a good provider support and let him come to me when he's ready.

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