You lost your dad during the lockdown and you know yours was one of those terrible funerals that were not possible to even attend. And so, I mean, you've long written about ritual and you talk about it in in nemesis as well. What was your experience like, first of all, of not being able to mark that hugely painful and monumental moment in your life? It was really weird. We had to feel that connection. But yeah, it's just kind of separate to miss it. Then to hear it almost.

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