If people are fighting or quarrelling about something, it's because their values don't line up. Meeting my wife was a great test because i really wanted to be with her and she wasn't so sure at the beginning. In the end, we ended up together because she saw my values. I am lucky i had developed by that point. If i hadn't, i wouldn't have gotten her. As investor, charley munger says to find a worthy mate, be worthy of a worthy mate. My wife is an incredibly lovely, family oriented person, and so am i. That was one of the foundational values that brought us together. Your values inherently become a lot less selfish

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