Emotional habits: difficulty naming feelings

Karen (45) and Chad (44) built their lives around a high income: buying their dream home in a high-cost city and raising three kids with confidence in the future. But when Chad lost his $340K tech job, everything changed. Three years later, he’s earning half as much, their emergency savings are gone, and they’re borrowing just to stay afloat. Karen lies awake fearing they’re one paycheck away from losing the house, while Chad stays optimistic that a future promotion or windfall will fix everything. Their conversations remain polite but distant, masking deep anxiety, resentment, and two completely different philosophies on money. Can Ramit help them confront reality, reconnect emotionally, and decide whether they can afford to keep the home they love?

In this episode we uncover:

• How Chad’s income dropped by 50% overnight

• The emotional toll of pretending “everything is fine” while secretly fearing they can’t make the mortgage

• Why even buying kids’ necessities fills Karen with guilt

• Why Chad defaults to thinking “maybe we’re just poor for a while”

• The dangerous gap between their public optimism and the reality Karen wrote in her application

• How Karen and Chad communicate like polite coworkers instead of partners

• The childhood roots that shaped their opposing money philosophies

• Why living with zero savings and three children is far more dangerous than Chad realizes

• The breakthrough: shifting from tracking numbers to actually making meaning from their spending and fears

Chapters:

(00:00:00) “We’re one paycheck away from disaster”

(00:17:12) “Here we go again”

(00:26:21) Ramit breaks down their numbers

(00:37:22) “I’m looking for solutions, not platitudes”

(00:49:47) “Why aren’t you more relaxed with less money?”

(01:01:11) “Is the house on fire?”

(01:19:32) Where are they now? Karen and Chad’s follow-ups

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Links mentioned in this episode

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If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.